Jana Kramerhas always been open about her journey to trusting her husband again afterMike Caussin‘s infidelity, and now the country star is getting candid about the exact moment she learned her husband had been unfaithful in 2016.
“Twenty minutes after I found out about everything, I had to go freaking play a show in Orlando, Florida,” the country singerrecalled to the podcast host. “I will never forget that ’cause I was just like, ‘How do I wrap up all of these emotions and then go play a show?'”
“Every part of me wanted to cancel but I’m like, ‘I can’t. I’m about to play for people!'” she added.
After taking the stage, Kramer said she attempted to pull it together but keeping her emotions intact proved to be more difficult than she thought.
“I struggled with those songs,” she explained, noting that her guitar player even asked if she was okay at one point. “Cause even when I was singing — it was “I Won’t Give Up” — I just started crying… I had to pull it together but it was tough.”
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Kramer — who recentlyreleased her first new singlein a year titled “Beautiful Lies,” which details how she felt during the period when she and Caussintook a break— admitted that she had been having gut feelings about her husband’s infidelity for quite a while.
It wasn’t until Kramer’s friend encouraged her to look at his phone bill while she was in Orlando that she confirmed the worst.
“I basically said, ‘I want you out of the house when I get home tomorrow,'” she told Bones. “Next thing I know, I threw all of his clothes out like a good ‘ol movie. I literally took every piece of his clothing and threw it on the front porch.”
The pair were separated for some time but reconciled and renewed theirvows in December 2017, then Karmer suffered a miscarriage shortly thereafter. In November 2018, Kramer and Caussinwelcomed their second childtogether, a son namedJace Joseph.
In the wake of the incident, Kramer said she managed to work past it through forgiveness and reflection in music. The country singer also noted that going through the experience ultimately made the couple stronger.
“I do forgive him,” she shared. “For me, why I’m doing this is because I wanna show the progression from broken to healed. It’s never gonna be perfect — I don’t know what relationship is perfect — but I wanna show growth and I’m gonna do that through songs.”
“I’m so proud of [Caussin] and how he’s opened up in admitting his faults and how he’s wanting to help people,” she continued. “Yes, it’s about his actions, but it’s more so about the journey that we’re going through and where we’ve been able to end up because of it all.”
“I am so happy now that it honestly happened the way it has because we are ten million times stronger than we were the day we got married,” she added. “I know his faults, he knows my faults. He knows my ugly, I know his ugly. We’re fighting for each other [and] for our marriage.”
Being so open about her relationship has come with some downsides, however. In February, Kramer publicly apologized to Caussin on Instagram aftermaking a joke about his infidelityon her podcast.
Jana Kramer/Instagram
“But sometimes there is something under a joke and it can hurt someone else,” she continued. “And that’s what happened on this week’s podcast and I’m sorry.”
“For me, sometimes my way of coping with pain and triggers is deflecting and making a joke. But that’s not the healthiest especially when it can hurt someone I care about,” Kramer acknowledged, before clarifying how great of a husband and father Caussin has recently been.
“Truth is, the past year Mike has shown up in every way I could have hoped for,” she said of the former NFL player. “He’s an incredible father, and has been working his ass off for our family, me, and most importantly himself so I’m sorry Mike and I love you and so thankful for you and our family and all your hard work!”
Mike Caussin and Jana Kramer.Jana Kramer Instagram
Finishing her note, Kramer revealed her plans to stop bringing up Caussin’s affair “because it is in the past and that’s where it needs to stay,” and asked her followers to hold her accountable.
While speaking to PEOPLE ahead of her new song’s release last week, Kramer also revealed how the things she says about her marriage with Caussin cansometimes be taken differently than she intends.
“It’s hard because it definitely gets to me because I’m like, ‘Man, maybe I shouldn’t be so open or maybe I shouldn’t joke around so much because it seems to kind of bite me in the butt sometimes,’” she said. “But, I have to remember that for every one negative comment there’s 50 positive. I need to start focusing more on the positive because I think it’s so easy to harp on the negative, especially in today’s world.”
source: people.com
