We ’re spring the gun on Hellfeed ’s normally bi - weekly docket — because pricy lord , the last five days were something else . This week ’s social medium hellscape kicked off with news Donald Trump is investigatingopening his own , presumably even more racist social media platform ( uh - huh ) before drunkenly veering everywhere to a beleaguered mega - ship clogging the bowels of shipping to Mark Zuckerberg ’s vaccination to Amazon pinch about spend a penny in bottles to the Shrimp Guy getting Milkshake Ducked ( something that I rely will make more sentience if you scroll down the page ) .
This is Hellfeed : Emergency Edition .
The CEOs of Facebook , Google , and Twitter went before the House Energy and Commerce Committee for exactly the sort of bipartisan struggle academic session they ’ve faced at multiple anterior auditory sense . While Jack Dorsey , Sundar Pichai , and Mark Zuckerberg utterly merit to be dragged by whatever means possible , the hearings are chop-chop becoming aritualistic washing of handsin which the assembled members of Congress scream at unpopular technical school CEO alternatively of actually passing any statute law to treat their preferent concerns ( misinformation and hate speech for Dems , why a grainy .bmp file of Donald Trump giving a thumbs up does n’t appear at the top of every webpage for Republicans ) .
Mike Lindell, CEO and founder of MyPillow, and a possibly entirely fictional social media site named Frank.Photo: Stephen Maturen (Getty Images)
Some highlighting :
Members of Congress still can not judge the last name “ Pichai , ” which is two syllables andnot all that complicated .
Republicans at long last added another way out to their playbook than screaming about censorship of conservatives : social media ’s wallop on child .
Screenshot: Google News
Zuckerberg explainedthat misinformation about the climate is n’t as harmful as misinformation about the coronavirus , which conveniently explain why Facebook does n’t do anything about it .
Representative Peter Welchasked the three CEOswhether they would keep going the creation of a Federal Trade Commission - like agency to regulate social media land site ; Zuckerberg , who has been a major beneficiary of the FTC’shalf - hearted approachto regularization , enthusiastically reply that could be “ very effective and convinced . ”
More generally , the CEO agree that there needs to besome type of regulationof social media — though peradventure just to placate Congress into summoning them to few hearings , and they were generally vague on what kind of regulations they would in reality bear beyond mandating greater transparency and admit more financial obligation for substance abuser - generated content .
Confronted on the exit of whether they would ban a XII anti - vaxxers who bear wildly disproportionate responsibility for hoaxes , misinformation , and conspiracy theories diffuse about vaccine on their sites , all three CEOs waffled .
In an passing uncomfortable moment starting at 2:35:15 in this YouTube current , Representative Billy Long ask each of the CEO whether or not they realise the departure between “ yes ” and “ no ” before asking them if they had been vaccinated against the coronavirus yet . Pichai was the only one who said yes .
The assembled chief executive officer generally parry addressing or defend their actual business model , which is prioritizinguser increase and engagementand thus revenue over just about anything else .
Everyone ’s favourite robber - baron empire has had a lot of fun online this week endeavor to “ own ” critics and fail miserably in the process . This all started when Dave Clark , the CEO of Amazon Worldwide Consumer , apply his plastered five for the Comedy Store by twirp a playfulness piddling jab : he often says “ we are the Bernie Sanders of employer , but that ’s not quite right because we actually deliver a progressive work . ”
https://twitter.com/embed/status/1374853182484963332
This could be charitably described as misread the elbow room . The barracking escalated rapidly when Representative Mark Pocan pointed out the well - document trend of Amazon storage warehouse worker being pressed so hard they have to pass water ( and sometimes poop ) in bottles , which the official Amazon News account condescendingly answer to with “ You do n’t really trust the pee in bottles thing , do you ? If that were true , nobody would work for us . ”
1/2 You do n’t really believe the pissing in bottles thing , do you ? If that were reliable , nobody would act for us . The truth is that we have over a million unbelievable employees around the macrocosm who are proud of what they do , and have great wages and wellness care from day one .
— Amazon News ( @amazonnews)March 25 , 2021
This is more than a little like some cartoon banker dressed like Mr. Monopoly yelling , “ You do n’t really believe the lock the shirtwaist factory stairwell matter , do you ? If that were true , nobody would work for us , ” over the sound of a fire alarm .
Amazon workers and driverson numerous occasionshave confirm they sometimes have to pee and poop in thing that are not toilets to run into caller quotas , something the companyis quite cognisant of . As a resultant role of their pathetic footling attempt at a clapback , the Google News result for “ Amazon pee in bottles ” now looks like this ( and goes on and on like this ):
Just absolutely phenomenal work here , boys .
In what is presumptively exclusively unrelated news , Amazon ishiring a new social media director .
Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk , the only person in account tobe fined $ 20 millionby the Securities and Exchange Commission , send a tweet at 4:18 a.m. on Friday put forward “ I think there is a > 0 % chance Tesla could become the biggest company . ” He perhaps had that settlement on his brain when he deleted a subsequent tweet saying that could chance “ Probably within a few months . ”
Per theWashington Post , Musk bray that delete button do a pocket-sized panic among Tesla shareholder :
Musk feature other Friday to his nearly 50 million Twitter follower that his companionship could be “ the biggest ” in a few months . It come less than a sidereal day after the National Labor Review Board bear on a 2019 ruling that determined Tesla pursue in unfair working class practice and scream on the company to have Musk delete a tweet from 2018 .
Tesla shares were bulk large near $ 608 soon before 2 p.m. EDT , after an otherwise uneventful aurora session . The society ’s food market cap tumbled to $ 586.7 billion , losing more than $ 26 billion over the twosome of four hours .
As the Post noted , this is just one Clarence Shepard Day Jr. after the National Labor Relations Board ordered Tesla to have Musk delete this 2018 tweetthreatening labor labor organizer , which Musk has not done .
Nothing stopping Tesla team at our railcar plant life from voting trades union . Could do so tmrw if they desire . But why pay union due & give up stock options for nothing ? Our safety phonograph record is 2X better than when industrial plant was UAW & everybody already gets healthcare .
— Elon Musk ( @elonmusk)May 21 , 2018
You live by the post , you crawl dice by the Emily Price Post .
Social media was shortly delighted by the tale of a Isle of Man name Jeremy Karp , who tweeted a complaint to the Cinnamon Toast Crunch account asking it to explicate why cinnamon - encrusted shrimp tails had ended up in his bag of cereal . After his initial tweet went viral , Karp expend days tweeting many , many more time about the incident .
https://twitter.com/embed/status/1374051365417230336
https://twitter.com/embed/status/1374108037376483331
alas for Karp , the attention also drew a massive amount of aid to his backstory . That beganwith fun Revelation of Saint John the Divine , such as that he is married to Danielle Fishel , who played Topanga in Boy Meets World , and was once an abortive doorknocker key “ Hot Karl ” . It ended with considerably more disturbing 1 , as several women on Twitter accused Karp of being a serialmanipulator and emotional abuserand disrespectful to Black fellow . ( Podcaster Melissa Stutten wrotehe was a “ manipulative gaslighting narcissistic ex - boyfriend who once told me he was surprised I had n’t killed myself because my life was so worthless , ” while author and former Karp colleague Brittani Nichols wrote he hadinserted racist linesinto the playscript of TBS rap struggle show Drop the Mic . )
In other words , he got Milkshake Ducked in record fourth dimension :
The whole internet loves Milkshake Duck , a adorable duck’s egg that drinks milkshakes ! * 5 second later * We regret to inform you the duck is anti-Semite
— pixelatedboat aka “ mr tweets ” ( @pixelatedboat)June 12 , 2016
One could call this a cautionary tale , but the moral is n’t ‘ never tweet ’ so much as do n’t be like this guy .
Everyone is live vicariously through the big ship that ’s block the Suez Canal ( and a massive percentage of domain shipping ) and has exhibit no sign it designate toget moving anytime shortly . It ’s peradventure the first relatable newsworthiness event in years ! Anyhow , here ’s a lot of tweets about it .
https://twitter.com/embed/status/1375505368944500737
Meanwhile , at the Suez Canalpic.twitter.com/faAgfNbxFJ
— Daisy Dixon ( @daisyldixon)March 24 , 2021
seeing scores of hoi polloi twirp about how they should simply ferment the boat in the suez canal . i ’ve been study this kind of affair for years , and the berth is actually far more complex . fundamentally in layman ’s price , if you change state it too far it ’ll get stick the other waypic.twitter.com/mxe36B9YTP
— Rajat Suresh ( @rajat_suresh)March 26 , 2021
The former traffic newsperson in me could n’t refuse yield you a Suez Canal traffic update…pic.twitter.com/1CssLkQDty
— Jon Hansen ( @JonHansenTalks)March 26 , 2021
my solution for the Suez Canal problempic.twitter.com/pc1hCR4hsr
— Michael Tannenbaum ( @iamTannenbaum)March 26 , 2021
If you ever doubted that size of it matters just take a smell at what ’s going on in the Suez Canal
— Dr. Parik Patel , BA , CFA , ACCA Esq . ( @ParikPatelCFA)March 26 , 2021
Just solved the Suez Canal crisis … idk why this is so hardpic.twitter.com/pwELuT1ByD
— Dr. Parik Patel , BA , CFA , ACCA Esq . ( @ParikPatelCFA)March 25 , 2021
Someone just sent me this and I ca n’t lay off laughing.#Evergreen#EVERGIVEN#Suezpic.twitter.com / MxTLwt50AB
— Jeff Gibson ( @GibbyMT)March 24 , 2021
What idiot call it a ship stick in the Suez and not Canal Culture
— Matt Negrin , master of ceremonies OF HARDBALL AT 7PM ON MSNBC ( @MattNegrin)March 26 , 2021
it ’s in all likelihood very unpleasant and sticky to block the suez canal by accident but imagine how powerful you would feel if you did it on role
— flglmn ( @flglmn)March 24 , 2021
call me a conspiracy theorist but there is no way that the cargo ship currently stuck in the suez canal draw a giant pecker and buns in the red sea " " " by accident"““pic.twitter.com / PWb1uGPGmd
— sloane ( sîpihkopiyesîs ) 🇵 🇸 🇨 🇩 🇸 🇩 ( @cottoncandaddy)March 24 , 2021
this is just to sayi haveblockedthe suez
which youprobably neededfor internationaltrade
forgive meim sidewaysand my ship assis bragging
— Rhiannon Shaw ( @rhiannoneshaw)March 24 , 2021
I know everyone is have a good time getting off some well-heeled jokes about the cargo ship adhere in the Suez , but just acknowledge people like me who are waiting on a shipment of rare Goku statue and cocain that is in one of those container see your " sense of humour " too .
— Will 🦥 Menaker ( @willmenaker)March 24 , 2021
wait , if YOU’RE here , and I’M here , , , then who ’s driving the boat in the Suez Canal ? ? ? ? ? ?
— meg “ Yooper ” bitchell ( @MeganBitchell)March 26 , 2021
My resolution as a man for the stuck boat in the Suez Canalpic.twitter.com/btbC3TcoyH
— Rory McCarthy ( @roryisconfused)March 26 , 2021
The only thing that would make this Suez Canal ship story well is if Elon Musk inserted himself into the spot , aloud offered a useless solution , and then accused a crew member of being a paedophile
— Chelsea Fagan ( @Chelsea_Fagan)March 25 , 2021
The entire Earth is now being exchange into a giant block of computronium that will be worth approximately $ 42.50 after a “ market correction , ” as evidenced by the fact that the “ Cash Me Outside ” meme girl Danielle Bregoli — who is somehow now the rapper Bhad Bhabie — is getting in on non - fungible tokens ( NFTs ) . NFTs are essentially acomplicated , blockchain - poweredway of turningmassive amountsof electricityinto digital trading cards that in some cases are selling for zillion of dollars , despite the fact they will belike be deserving dead nothing in just a few month or years .
Anyhow , Bhad Bhabie is selling 20 NFTs , perHypeBeast , which writes that the sale admit “ original works based on the biggest meme of 2017 and focusing on its dominance , her rise to renown , the success of her euphony and meme cultivation . ” That includes the luck to own the “ Cash Me Outside ” meme :
The first group of NFTs will be unloosen on March 26 , Bregoli ’s eighteenth natal day , via Opensea , then on March 29 via Rarible and March 31 via Zora . The collab between Bhad Bhabie and Flue Block Arts will also include a mega computer software on Opensea that includes ownership of the “ Cash Me Outside ” meme transferred from the artist to the buyer , one NFT of each of the visual work , a personalized picture of the transfer sales agreement from Bregoli to the buyer that will be posted on both her Instagram and YouTube and a 16 - bar verse line feature of speech from Bhad Bhabie .
Also , record creative person Ja Rule , who previously managed to jettison himselfmostly clearof the explosive radius of the Fyre Fest debacle , isselling an NFT of the Fyre Fest logo for $ 122,000 . OK .
If nothing else , you have to honor Ja Rule ’s deep commitment to cozenage .
MyPillow goblin Mike Lindell , who is currently being sued for $ 1.3 billion by Dominion Voting Systems for advance fraudulence and conspiracy theories claim it helped slip the 2020 election for Joe Biden , is launching a social medium site . Allegedly . No one really get laid whether it exists or is just another Lindell fantasy . It ’s possible there is a small army of software engineer locked in the cellar of the MyPillow factory , who knows .
But this week we learned two decisive pieces of info : Mike Lindell ’s new societal media website isnamed Frank , andit ’s a platform for Americans who need to fight life , indecorum , and all the freedom that have marked America as the longest - running Constitutional Republic in the history of the earth .
This poses a dilemma , though , because as we antecedently mention , the former Chief Executive also hasephemeral program for a security review - free social media sitefor people who think their guns whisper to them at Nox .
There ’s only one solution : Donald Trump and Mike Lindell must fight to the death . mayhap in a gladiatorial data formatting , maybe jousting , could also be a batting cage peer , or perhaps an honest-to-god - timey duel ? What ’s crucial is that two old men of dubious lucidity enter , one previous human race impart — as the tech bro chief executive officer of a startup social medium house that peradventure live totally within their head . But watch out , Mr. Trump . Lindell wait like a biter .
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